Patti Smith Talks Like an Old-Timey Lady

Patti Smith, who was born in 1946 and has never combed her hair since then, looks a little like a witch. To be more precise, she resembles what I imagine if the word "crone" comes into conversation. (See photo.)

"Yes, I cooked the children."

She's a little like Keira Knightley in that she always looks dirty. Like photos of Michel Houellebecq, the sight of her makes me smell cigarettes and booze, and I don't even know if she smokes or drinks.

I don't really know any of her songs except "Because the Night" and "Horses" - the former because Natalie Merchant did a cover of it back in the 90s, I think, and the latter because my deceased parakeet used to love the sound of Patti Smith speaking at the very beginning of the song (though I'm not sure how I discovered this).

In other words, I am not a fan. At all.

That's why I can't believe I just wrote everything that came before this just to say that I read a little blurb about Smith's review in the Times of Haruki Murakami's new book. And in this little blurb, Patti Smith is quoted thusly: "When I pack for a tour I just grab dungarees and a couple of T-shirts. The big trauma is what books to take."

While I agree with her assessment of what constitutes the purest form of travel trauma, I cannot defend her use of the word "dungarees" here. That's such an old-timey word that you can't even tell what she means by it within the context of a sentence about packing for a trip.

I'll probably have nightmares tonight. Thanks a lot, Patti Smith!